Writing in a Storm.

Ever feel abandoned? I am sure you have. I am sure we all have. I know I have many times in my life. I know that my biggest fear in life is being abandoned by the people I hold closest to me. So I know this. I fear this this. Yet I turn around and abandon God. The last two weeks God has been the furthest thing on my mind. How could God abandon Baby Cecil in those last moments? How could God Abandon that innocent little baby? But God did not abandon him. He did not abandon me. He's been here all along. He took Cecil into his arms and cradled him. He gave him love that NONE of us would ever be able to give him. God has not abandoned me. I've turned my back on him. But as I think more clearly I can still hear his voice. It's quieter than normal but it's here. He's waiting for me to turn around and grab onto him. So why is it so hard for me to do that? Why is it so easy to abandon the one that loves me the most?

I need to stop running! I need to hear the truth weather it hurts or not. I need to face the facts and grab onto God's hand. I can not abandon the one who loves me the most.

Is this a test or a trial? Does it really matter? The out come needs to be the same. God needs to be the center.


Reaching out to GOD!

Introduction and mind wanderings...

I love writing, many say it's my talent. My pastor has been talking about finding your gift. Maybe writing is my gift and I am letting it waste away. Maybe it's not. However I do know that I enjoy writing. Mainly fiction. My goal is to someday publish a book, however to publish a book one needs to actually finish something. That's my hold up. I run out of ideas or get stuck and move on to something new. So now I am going to try dabbling in the blogger world. Put a new spin to my writing.

So as I sit here in the living room of my friends house listening to them popping balloons in the kitchen on the eve before the birth of their baby my mind is spinning. Tomorrow their lives will be forever changed as they welcome their baby the family of four will lovingly welcome this wonderful little boy they'll wonder how they ever lived with out him in the first place. Tonight their two little ones are at aunties house, they have me another friend over. You'd never know there was a baby coming tomorrow. Tonight we are friends hanging out eating Sundays acting maybe a little childish but having the time of our lives. Tomorrow is a time for change and responsibility. Tonight is just good close friends sharing a evening together. It's evening like this that create ever lasting memories.

Life is so unsettling at times. So confusing and so hard to grasp like the loss of my cousins two month old grandson. Or the loss of a great pastor at a good church. It leaves you stumbling and trying to find something to hold onto. Then you a hear a smile child's laughter. Or the purr of a cat as it rubs against you. A rainbow in the sky. God's forever promises to you. The smell of a new baby or a private joke between a close friends. Your reminded of the wonderful things in life. It may not make the pain go away right away or the world to stop spinning so fast but it gives you something to grab onto and hold close to you.

So this was my first spin on a blog. I think from her on out I am going to blog on topics but this is me this is what I am thinking and this is what I had to say.

Happy Reading

Love

Jacqui