God is wonderful, I know it. I feel it. I believe it. I know that there is a plan for me. I know that things are going to be okay. I know I am going to look back at this time period in my life in a few years from now and see it so clearly. However right this very second my heart HURTS... I can't function. My brain knows the logic my heart has yet to catch up. I am being honest and truthful right now. I am hurt and I am scared and I feel slightly alone. I know I am not. I have so many people that love me. That's been shown to me each day. I am blessed. However in the quiet moments of the day I just sometimes feel alone. It's hard.
I am not good at asking for help. I am not at honestly letting people know how I am feeling. I am good with saying. "I'll be fine.. I am fine. It's okay." Well here I am saying out loud I am not okay. Not at all. I am hurting. Though I am going to stop trying to hide my pain from the ones I love and I am going to ask for help. That's my goal this weekend. I am going to admit I need a hug. I am going to admit that I need some time with the people that build me up the most. They keep me going and remind me how good God is to me. They are here because of God.
I am going to be just fine in the end, I am going to be a stronger person. I know it!
Here's a little glimpse of why I know that I live a very blessed life!
I am blessed to have sisters! I am blessed to be as close to Holly as I am. Life would be boring with out my siblings!
I am blessed to have friends who like to play as much as me
I am blessed to have friends who share their children with me
I am blessed to have someone to make a scarf for. Someone who wears it proudly knowing it was a gift from the heartI have so many more pictures of so many more blessings but you'd be here for hours looking at them..
I don't have a recent picture with all 5 of us Ballard kids together but I am blessed to be a Ballard. I love my family!
I am so Thankful for all of my family the Ballards and the Wrights I'd be lost with out you guys.
I am also THANKFUL for my friends who get me through each day...
The people that love me.. Too many to name...
Megan, Jenny, and Holly.. You three mean the world to me thanks for loving me right now through the moodyness and the tears... You guys are my light in this storm.
And most importantly... Thank you GOD for this trial, thank you for this storm. I praise you in the Storm. I know you are carrying me through. I know I am going to be a better person and I know I always have you. I pray that you continue to carry me and protect my loved ones and we continue on this journey called life... Amen..
