As I read friends
Christmas letters that summed up their 2012 year I wondered just exactly
how would I do that? Where would I start? How could I possibly sum
up 2012 in a Christmas card?
This got me thinking. Is it possible for me to sum up 2012? Where would I start? Suddenly Thanksgiving comes to mind as a great place to start. My church does a Thanksgiving day service. I’ve never attended it before and I had no plans on attending it this year. I had my excuse down in my head of why I would not be attending this service. Such as I had to work the day after Thanksgiving at 5:45 so Thanksgiving day was the only day I could sleep in. I was going to spend a Thanksgiving with a wonderful family that I am blessed to know but wasn’t supposed to be there until 1 it would be pointless to drive out to church then to not have anything to do for about an hour because driving back to Bellingham would be silly and a complete waste of gas. Seriously these are thoughts that went through my head to justify me not going to our Thanksgiving service. Looking back on it I just have to laugh!
I can say that God had other plans and he knew my excuses for not wanting to go. His hand was at work days before the Thanksgiving service with a tweak of a plan here and a change in attitude here. What I thought was just life being life was really God’s hand intervening. The night before Thanksgiving I ended up staying the night at a friend’s house. Spending time with her earlier that evening was planned spending the night not planned by me anyways. God had this planned out before I was even born!! So now my excuse of it being silly to drive into Lynden was gone. I was already there at a house that is less than 10 minutes from my church. Again with it being that close I was able to sleep in longer then I do on a normal working day. Both excuses gone! So I have to go to church!
I get to the church find a seat and I can’t help by feel a heavy feeling of peace fill my heart. The night before was a night of talking through thoughts in my head getting perspectives and dealing with things that unnerved me, and to walk into my church sit down and have that peace brought into my heart is indescribable!. I know I am not doing it justice. All I can do is say let go and Let God. That was a moment where I let go and let God. Our Thanksgiving service is just beautiful! People gather together and they get to share from their hearts what they are Thankful for. What God has been doing for them. Just hearing God’s work in so many different lives is amazing. At one point Pastor Bob makes eye contact with me. He mouths me a question “Do you want to share?”
I hadn’t even planned on going to this church service! I most certainly had not thought about taking a microphone and sharing with my church family. Yes I had so much to be thankful for. So much! But sharing? I found myself nodding in his direction. He smiled and nodded back. I was going to share. Of course my mind started to wander and I found myself no longer paying attention. So I quickly turned my attention to one of my favorite 3 year olds directly in front of me. He’d been doing his best to sit and listen but like any three year old towards the end he got a little squirmy (Much like I still get) I handed him my pink notebook and asked him to draw me a picture. By turning my attention to him for a few second I was able to get my mind off of myself and do what I love to do best. Interact with a child which also helped me tune back in to what was being shared around us.
The microphone was brought over to me I’d be the next person to share. Having that microphone in my hand made my stomach turn a little bit. Butterflies for sure! I looked up to the piano where my friend Carissa was sitting. She gave me a smile and a slight nod. I knew she was telling me “You’ve got this! and you are okay!” This is not the first time God’s had her in a room where I’ve been given a microphone and have been asked to share. Both times the encouraging smile and the nod was just the reminder I needed. Reminded me how amazing our God is. I say a quick prayer and I begin to speak. I shared with my church family just why I am so thankful. God took an impossible situation that was said couldn’t be done and he fixed it. He did the impossible for me! I got to glorify God’s name! What an amazing statement and feeling.
I share this story for what comes next. The part that really got me the part that really showed me just how much God loves me. Noah was sitting in front of me. This kid captured my heart from the time I met him. He means the world to me. I think he could tell I was a little nervous. I know he saw me look up at his mother when the microphone was passed to me. I saw him smile at me too. The same encouraging smile! Somehow he got a hold that notebook that his brother had been playing with and started to write something as I started to share he was writing. A few seconds into what I was sharing I glance over at him and he’s holding my note book with a message that means more to me then I’ll ever be able to describe. It said “I love Jacklin”
I know God used Noah’s big heart that moment to speak to me. Again it’s something I struggle to put into words but his little note of love was a reminder to me how big our God is. How big his love is for us. Noah’s I love you seemed small on paper, (I have the picture to prove it.) However it’s huge. More then anyone will know. I am so thankful that even though I had planned on not going to this service that God had other things in mind! I can’t believe I could have missed out on this!
This year was walking with God, holding onto him when I didn’t know what was going to happen. Lies were spoken about me. Lies that I could have easily believed about myself! Moments where it didn’t feel like there was hope.
During all of this God held me tightly in his arms. He brought in people to walk beside me. To push me when I really didn’t feel like going any further. To remind me that I am God’s daughter and I am to be a light in this world. My friends and family stood behind me and loved me unconditionally.
I know it wasn’t an easy year for those who walked with me. They saw some pretty raw emotions. And my sweet Jenny got a lot of the angrier moments. She refused to let me give up on myself and she refused to let me push her away when it was the easiest thing to do. Many nights spent in tears. Though it’s us we did have lots of moments of laughter too. We are good at finding humor anywhere we go. The moment I hit a wall and started to fall apart, she was there to prevent that from happening by just loving me. Praying with me and providing that extra hug.
This year was full of adventures! My new job! My sister’s wedding!, A trip to Oregon, months of house sitting the most amazing zip line trip. A visit with my Dever girls and so much more! IT was all tied up with God’s victory win as he completed a miracle in my life. My life from the time I took my first breath to now is God’s story and I was reminded that of this year. It’s my job to show his glory and power!
I can easily say that 2012 has been the year that has challenged me more than any year of my life. I think I described it to one person as one of the hardest, exciting, challenging, faith building BEST years of my life! I would do it again in heartbeat! Nothing beats growing closer to God!
I know 2013 will be a continuous journey of growing closer to God, working on being the light that I am supposed to be. Finding joy in everyday life and continuing to learn those truths about me! I am excited for 2013!
To everyone who made 2012 one of the best years of my life at such a hard time, I thank you and I love you!
This got me thinking. Is it possible for me to sum up 2012? Where would I start? Suddenly Thanksgiving comes to mind as a great place to start. My church does a Thanksgiving day service. I’ve never attended it before and I had no plans on attending it this year. I had my excuse down in my head of why I would not be attending this service. Such as I had to work the day after Thanksgiving at 5:45 so Thanksgiving day was the only day I could sleep in. I was going to spend a Thanksgiving with a wonderful family that I am blessed to know but wasn’t supposed to be there until 1 it would be pointless to drive out to church then to not have anything to do for about an hour because driving back to Bellingham would be silly and a complete waste of gas. Seriously these are thoughts that went through my head to justify me not going to our Thanksgiving service. Looking back on it I just have to laugh!
I can say that God had other plans and he knew my excuses for not wanting to go. His hand was at work days before the Thanksgiving service with a tweak of a plan here and a change in attitude here. What I thought was just life being life was really God’s hand intervening. The night before Thanksgiving I ended up staying the night at a friend’s house. Spending time with her earlier that evening was planned spending the night not planned by me anyways. God had this planned out before I was even born!! So now my excuse of it being silly to drive into Lynden was gone. I was already there at a house that is less than 10 minutes from my church. Again with it being that close I was able to sleep in longer then I do on a normal working day. Both excuses gone! So I have to go to church!
I get to the church find a seat and I can’t help by feel a heavy feeling of peace fill my heart. The night before was a night of talking through thoughts in my head getting perspectives and dealing with things that unnerved me, and to walk into my church sit down and have that peace brought into my heart is indescribable!. I know I am not doing it justice. All I can do is say let go and Let God. That was a moment where I let go and let God. Our Thanksgiving service is just beautiful! People gather together and they get to share from their hearts what they are Thankful for. What God has been doing for them. Just hearing God’s work in so many different lives is amazing. At one point Pastor Bob makes eye contact with me. He mouths me a question “Do you want to share?”
I hadn’t even planned on going to this church service! I most certainly had not thought about taking a microphone and sharing with my church family. Yes I had so much to be thankful for. So much! But sharing? I found myself nodding in his direction. He smiled and nodded back. I was going to share. Of course my mind started to wander and I found myself no longer paying attention. So I quickly turned my attention to one of my favorite 3 year olds directly in front of me. He’d been doing his best to sit and listen but like any three year old towards the end he got a little squirmy (Much like I still get) I handed him my pink notebook and asked him to draw me a picture. By turning my attention to him for a few second I was able to get my mind off of myself and do what I love to do best. Interact with a child which also helped me tune back in to what was being shared around us.
The microphone was brought over to me I’d be the next person to share. Having that microphone in my hand made my stomach turn a little bit. Butterflies for sure! I looked up to the piano where my friend Carissa was sitting. She gave me a smile and a slight nod. I knew she was telling me “You’ve got this! and you are okay!” This is not the first time God’s had her in a room where I’ve been given a microphone and have been asked to share. Both times the encouraging smile and the nod was just the reminder I needed. Reminded me how amazing our God is. I say a quick prayer and I begin to speak. I shared with my church family just why I am so thankful. God took an impossible situation that was said couldn’t be done and he fixed it. He did the impossible for me! I got to glorify God’s name! What an amazing statement and feeling.
I share this story for what comes next. The part that really got me the part that really showed me just how much God loves me. Noah was sitting in front of me. This kid captured my heart from the time I met him. He means the world to me. I think he could tell I was a little nervous. I know he saw me look up at his mother when the microphone was passed to me. I saw him smile at me too. The same encouraging smile! Somehow he got a hold that notebook that his brother had been playing with and started to write something as I started to share he was writing. A few seconds into what I was sharing I glance over at him and he’s holding my note book with a message that means more to me then I’ll ever be able to describe. It said “I love Jacklin”
I know God used Noah’s big heart that moment to speak to me. Again it’s something I struggle to put into words but his little note of love was a reminder to me how big our God is. How big his love is for us. Noah’s I love you seemed small on paper, (I have the picture to prove it.) However it’s huge. More then anyone will know. I am so thankful that even though I had planned on not going to this service that God had other things in mind! I can’t believe I could have missed out on this!
This year was walking with God, holding onto him when I didn’t know what was going to happen. Lies were spoken about me. Lies that I could have easily believed about myself! Moments where it didn’t feel like there was hope.
During all of this God held me tightly in his arms. He brought in people to walk beside me. To push me when I really didn’t feel like going any further. To remind me that I am God’s daughter and I am to be a light in this world. My friends and family stood behind me and loved me unconditionally.
I know it wasn’t an easy year for those who walked with me. They saw some pretty raw emotions. And my sweet Jenny got a lot of the angrier moments. She refused to let me give up on myself and she refused to let me push her away when it was the easiest thing to do. Many nights spent in tears. Though it’s us we did have lots of moments of laughter too. We are good at finding humor anywhere we go. The moment I hit a wall and started to fall apart, she was there to prevent that from happening by just loving me. Praying with me and providing that extra hug.
This year was full of adventures! My new job! My sister’s wedding!, A trip to Oregon, months of house sitting the most amazing zip line trip. A visit with my Dever girls and so much more! IT was all tied up with God’s victory win as he completed a miracle in my life. My life from the time I took my first breath to now is God’s story and I was reminded that of this year. It’s my job to show his glory and power!
I can easily say that 2012 has been the year that has challenged me more than any year of my life. I think I described it to one person as one of the hardest, exciting, challenging, faith building BEST years of my life! I would do it again in heartbeat! Nothing beats growing closer to God!
I know 2013 will be a continuous journey of growing closer to God, working on being the light that I am supposed to be. Finding joy in everyday life and continuing to learn those truths about me! I am excited for 2013!
To everyone who made 2012 one of the best years of my life at such a hard time, I thank you and I love you!
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