Finding Comfort

I am curled up with my favorite blanket that Rachel made me and I have a movie with Marie Osmond's voice playing. For those of you who don't know I am a big Marie Osmond fan and when I was younger when ever I was upset I found comfort in her cds. I may be a dork but at least I own it and I am not afraid to admit it. I also now find blogging to be my online journal and it brings me comfort, so this is what this is finding my comfort.

With me I am ONE emotional person, I feel everything and I take everything to heart. My feelings get hurt in a blink of an eye, and I am tired of hearing grow tough skin because well after 26 years it hasn't happened. Yes I've made growth as a person, I firmly believe that but the tough skin isn't something I am ever going to have. I believe in my heart that I was blessed with a sensitive soul for a reason and I am going to start embracing it! SO WHAT! If I cry? Why is it such a big deal?

I don't really know where I am going with this blog expect for getting up pent up anger and emotions out. Here I have been thinking the last few weeks that I am doing great and growing and finding things out only to find out that I am really no where different then I was six months ago. I am just depressed... I am sick and tired of always feeling like the failure. Always feeling that I give with a hundred and ten percent and it means nothing. I just right now feel like I am failing again and I hate failure I am afraid of failure.. I know alot of it has to do with my emotions..

So I am soul searching.. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do when I grow up? Only I can make myself happy.... So what can I do to find happiness?


On the up side, I do see God's Handy work everyday! THANK YOU LORD for snail mail when your day has gone down the tube with a simple a I LOVE YOU at the end. Thank GOD for a child's innocents hug and tender words when you can't see the brightness in the world. Thank GOD for friends who put up with your emotional side and don't tell you to grow a tough skin. Thank GOD for friends who can make you laugh in a way no one else can. THANK GOD for friends from the past that re surface just when you need them. Thank God for the family you've been given. Thank GOD for the little things in life that make you smile.

I THANK GOD that even when I am having a sadder day that I am still loved and blessed.