I LOVE YOU! And Me!

I LOVE YOU!

Pretty powerful little sentence there right? Those three words can fill a person's heart with more joy then one could imagine. Funny is in my past saying those three words would send me into a fit of panic. I don't know when exactly I became afraid of those words. I have never been scared of telling my mother that I loved her. It's something I grew up saying and believing with my whole heart. I knew she loved me as much as I loved her and that I was safe. I knew she'd never reject or turn her back to me.

Over the past few years I've really learned a lot from the I Love Yous. There is NOTHING like hearing the voice of a small child looking up at you saying the words "I LOVE YOU" Talk about heart melting moments. So when did I become so afraid of it? I guess I'll never really know the answer to that.

Hearing the voice of a friend say "I love you" Used to make me cry. I didn't feel like I was worthy enough of their friendship or love. However God says we aren't to judge others. So I tried my best to not judge others. What I failed on was judging myself. God loves me and once I learned to say it to God, I learned to say it to my friends and my family. Not loving them was never my problem. My problem was I judged myself to harshly and I wasn't allowing God to love me the way he wanted to. Once I opened my heart to him, and realized that I was his child and that he wasn't going to reject me, I became a stronger person. One who could give MORE of my heart, to my family and friends. That’s when I was also able to fully understand and appreciate the love that they had for me. When they tell me they love me they just aren’t saying it. They mean it , and those are the memories I hold inside forever.

I am not a perfect person by any means, and I still struggle with my image daily. I am constantly working on loving myself. Some days are just harder then others. However I find that if I pray and I end my prayer saying “I Love You God” It becomes a little easier. After all I was made in his image. He loves me. He’s given me people who love me. SO why can’t I love myself? He also gave me a big heart to love others! I want to take that gift and use it correctly. Which means I have to love myself too.

PS. Now hearing the voice of a friend say “I love you to me” Still can make me cry, but only because I am a sap and heart filled moments are my favorite!