This afternoon I got to spend sometime with my dear dad, sister and adorable but growing way to fast niece! We went to the movies. Seeing movies together is our thing... It's what we do to bond.. I know how do you bond when you can't talk? Talking isn't always important it's just being together. Now that I am grown and doing my own things family time happens very little. In the past I have taken this for granted. Today I am writing it down... I am taking the challenge to find a 1000 gifts from God. It's a new concept to me. Yet it's not... Over the past few months I have known to look for joy moments. Write them down.. Forget about them once the journal is closed... Not this time... This time I am challenging myself... I think setting a number to it actually helps my brain think about it. I think it's the little extra drive I need. It makes me a little sad that I had to think about setting a number to it to search out the precious joy filled moments God gives me through out the day. I should always want to be seeking them and finding them! However that's not where I am at right now. Right now I need the numbers. However I know that eventually spotting those moments will come so easy.. It's re-training my brain to think. At one point in my life everything was dooms day! I had no hope. Nothing was good. I was in a fog... However I hated that yucky feeling! So I with God's help of course, no way could I do it on my own!! Began to change my attitude.... I am not perfect by far, however I do know that I am a happier more positive person. People have come up to me and told me they love my positive attitude! Warms my heart. Though the past few months have been a lot harder to see that! I've noticed more darker days. Though it's allowed. I am allowed to feel the pain that I am going through. I am allowed to cry. What I am not allowed to do is stay down. To stay in myself pity moods. I need to hold my head high and KNOW and TRUST that God is taking me through this. He's got me.
Finding Joy right where I am... That's what I have to focus on right now! So I don't have a job... Doesn't mean I don't have joy. I get to go to Tuesday morning Bible Study! JOY... I get to sleep in...JOY... I get to go have lunch with my awesome friend sometimes multiple times a week. JOY.. I get to have coffee with others who aren't working... JOY... I am able to do emergency babysitting jobs for friends... JOY... I can run errands for my friends and family who might not have the time to do what they need.. I get to bless them.... J O Y... Writing that out makes me think of my time off as a blessing!! Don't get me wrong of course there is still pain tied in with it... However the JOYS so out way the pain... That's just pretty cool to see it that way. Of course that doesn't mean I stop looking for a job... I am still going to search, but I am going to search knowing that this is God's plan... The job door WILL open up when it's the right job and the right time. Right now God needs me to do other things. To serve HIM in other ways...
As I write this I am seeing that I want to make a series of Blogs for Unwrapping MY joy... It's where my focus is going to be. I am finding I have a lot on my mind. Considering this whole blog came from the first line of notes I took during the Women's retreat and Sandi's first session.. She had 3 sessions on her own... Three pages of notes. Not to mention what I got out of the closing. I am going to process and write as it comes to me. I am very excited about my new Blog series.. Stay tuned :)
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